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19 May 2011 @ 07:42 pm
Dear God....  
I wish you would just kill me. What is the point to existing if everyday breaks your heart? Pieces so shattered; no longer able to put back together, tears and holes in the hollowness where my soul used to live. Rain has purpose; sunshine has a reason; even a mosquito has a place in the world. Where is mine? Where do I fit in to the vast empty yawning of each day? And what will be left of my scarred, bloody body when I finally figure it out?

Rivulets of blood-sacred, life-force- the only thing keeping me human anymore.......when is it enough to appease? When is it enough to atone? What did I ever do besides live?

Child of nothingness, of no one.....like the angel, cast aside, and yet I hope....like a dog to it's master, waiting for a crumb that never falls.

And yet, every morning, still, I awaken. And not for lack of trying to stay asleep.
 
 
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